I took my midnight shower as usual, and my mind started laughing at me.
How awkward my situation is... that we kind of broke up, but still live under the same roof. I guess it's just counting to the days that the rent ends. But now i'm stressed about the housing situation. I hope Upay will say yes to sharing this house. Now i like this house and area, i don't want to move again. I'm so fucking tired of pack-unpack bullshit. Oh well, that's one thing. Remember my mind is always playing minimal 3 tracks at the same time. Ha.
So another thing is, I'm currently a part of the committee of this fundraiser that involves multiple communities and a lot of bar people. Anyhow, i went to the first meeting, super late, not knowing there would be a lot of people joining. So I just nervously said hi to everyone and just sat down near my friend and didn't look around the long table. Then we started talking and everything, and I realize my ex from 10 years ago was sitting in front of me. I have not seen him since 2020, in Mamaka, before I got trapped into that toxic asshole rollercoaster. But I did know that he got married and had kid.
Long story short, they want to make a structure and point out persons in charge of divisions. They then pointed me to be the event coordinator, also representing the female community in the industry. Someone said "Oh it's going to be a hard job, let someone from (his male dominated community) help. And he pointed... my ex. Of course. I was so speechless I just make "disagree" face but didn't know what to say except "ehhhh". He was saying things like "Umm let me be the coordinator for equipments", and cause people keep agreeing it should be me and him, I just said out loud to him "Will you be ok with this?" Okay I didn't say that exactly but too hard to translate without mentioning names. After I asked that, 1 second of silence happened and then the came the laughters. Some of the guys brain finally started working and then they agree to change him to someone else. It was funny though. A bit awkward now that everyone knew he's my ex.
I mean, there's absolutely nothing left between us. But I just want to respect his wife, cause this is that kind of situation that the drama is very very avoidable.
Then when he was going and high-five everyone to say bye, I said to him "Congratulations on being a father" with a friendly tone and face, and he just laughed and left.
After that, my friend started talking about it. I told her it was 10 years ago, but I remember he was actually very nice to me. He was super royal, always picked me up, never let me pay anything, and always one call away. We fought about principals though, and he gave me one embarrassing trauma too. We eventually split up because he was way too possessive when I moved to Ubud, and lowkey asking me to convert.
But yeah, I guess I'm in the next level stage of learning about my past and looking at it in a different perspective, now that I'm old and tired, ha. I meant.. wiser? I guess.
Oh, then adding to the mix, my cut-ties matching tattoo buddy (really G, buddy?) is also participating in the fundraiser. I'm just so thankful that my new-ex, not-so-ex, or whatever I don't know what to call him yet, is not coming tomorrow. One less problem. I hope everything goes well. I like to be useful.
Well, that's the end of tonight's rant. Tomorrow's the fundraiser day!
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