one pile of mess on the bed
two hours of scrolling to rot
three breathing exercises
four times of regret
a voice that makes me feel guilty
about melting my back to the surface
a weary head with no place to rest
and a lot of people to think about
asking, when is my time to shut down?
and yet, postponing another to-do list
stressing for not doing
not doing because of the stress
blaming mental illness is not an option
as i don't come from privilege
i do earn it though, enough to live comfortably
but not enough for the roulettes of interests
why do i juggle everything?
24 hours don't seem enough
i need pleasure, more, and more
without sacrificing my sleep
a restless mind, a tired heart
a friendly hello, smiley face
i guess it's depression? what a surprise
that's okay, one at a time.
