butterfly in a cage

hearts pounding, expression forced, eyes wandering

being cautious with distance and interaction

we met, but we weren't really meeting

from the back of my eyes, full of tension 

from sharing a cup of black coffee, a meal, or a joint

to the exchanges of gifts and second-hands

i can't digest how did we reach to this point? 

"partners-in-crime" into strangers with split ends

i felt so lost, weird, my soul dissociated and hollow

i never once like to take sides but here i am anyway

is it true what shari said -- that I am shallow?

to follow what's "right" for the eyes at the end of the day?

the thing is, it came to an end along with a war 

you said it wasn't me, but who else to blame when it's ill?

i'm no hero, but to make peace is what i've known so far

what's a bit of sacrifices to make the water still?

to be brutally honest, i don't know what we were

you said it was beyond the capacity of word

but is it? or you just couldn't really get there

i never really let you; i guess i'm a coward

or was i just too comfortable with getting the steak

and then ran to you for the water when i'm thirsty

going back and forth, deep down knowing the stake

denial, convincing myself that i'm a changed entity

or maybe, as one of my friends told me something new

within the kinds, you're my "platonic soulmate"? 

that i couldn't really let you in because i knew

we weren't born to be living in the same gate

after all i'm a quirky butterfly, a rebel to the edge

ironically, my own mistake put me in this cage

i hate it, unable to fly wherever i long to roam

but i guess that's just it, the end to my sad poem