madly broken.

 you. are. never. going. to. change.

6 words that my head always says, but my heart never listens.

one week we were back together (not as couple but you know);

one day I snapped and didn't come to you (when I wrote the post before);

and you fuckin get another girl to your fuckin room.

just. freakin. one. day.

you really cannot stand being without a freakin chick can you???

last night we fought because you didn't wanna kiss me.

sounds ridiculous? 

I AM FUCKIN TIRED OF BEING PATHETIC.

it's obvious that I want you and I need you more than you want and need me.

yes, no one knows that now I slept in your room almost every freakin day.

cause, yes, I am embarrassed.

you treated me like shit. you talked shit about me to people.

I had to tell people how you treated me because JESUS CHRIST I FUCKIN STAYED BY YOUR SIDE.

and I look so dumb that I keep coming back to you.

people see me as a stupid pathetic fool.

I can keep all these to my heart, or at least just pour it here.

but you know, when I'm drunk it's like the filter is dead.

all the grudges I've been holding against you just explode.

I'm sorry but yes, I'm still fuckin broken. I'm still fuckin hurt.

at the same time I still fuckin love you and miss you.

I am torn, between needing you and hating you.

I am fuckin hurt whether I stay or I go.

well yes, as you said, it's been 2 months after we broke up and now we're on a different base.

but also yes, you haven't changed that much.

you said we're getting better together? 

are you fucking kidding me? i'm so mad to hear that honestly.

how is it better? 

you are fuckin addicted to girls. I just can't stand it.

and I will never be cool with that so better my ass.

you just can't never get it, how broken I am.

all my life I only truly loved one person and he was my highschool first love.

the first person to have a room in my heart after that guy is you.

a person that hurts me the most.

I just really really wish I could un-love you.

and someday you would be hurt as much as I'm hurt by you so you'd realize how bad you were.

I hope you'd learn it the hard way like I did and I hope I would find my love as soon as possible and you would regret losing me all your freakin life.

you broke me first.