Just one day after my honored achievement podcast
It was a day that was supposedly dedicated to the community
Myself, as already claimed industry oriented, couldn’t pass
I could’ve not come, but either way I’d feel guilty
And so I came, along with other ambassadors
Facing smiles and high fives, hazing myself with alcohol in glasses
Pretending not to notice those eyes of closed doors
Dissociated, couldn’t catch my breath as if it’s running its own courses
I was so scared of creating a scene out of my private tub
And so I kept my distance from everyone somehow
In what happened between the castle and the pub
I forgot about the hell, one that broke me and haunted me until now
I don’t think about it, but I still remember the scare
The abuse, the manipulation, the hate and degrading
I didn’t lie when I said I no longer care
But when I lost myself, it brought back the scariest thing
So yeah, when I had to act all smiley and bubbly
In the middle of sharp eyes of the castle, the pub, and the hell
My anxiety spiked a little too much, a bit uncontrollably
In a way still hoping I get it together so no one can tell
And so maybe, my brain found a way to be more tipsy than it should be
Just so my soul can run away, even when I’m stuck physically
The day ended with an ache on my head
And with no tasks nor responsibility ended
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