Tuesday, March 3, 2026

A Secretly Cursed Day


Just one day after my honored achievement podcast

It was a day that was supposedly dedicated to the community

Myself, as already claimed industry oriented, couldn’t pass

I could’ve not come, but either way I’d feel guilty


And so I came, along with other ambassadors 

Facing smiles and high fives, hazing myself with alcohol in glasses

Pretending not to notice those eyes of closed doors

Dissociated, couldn’t catch my breath as if it’s running its own courses


I was so scared of creating a scene out of my private tub

And so I kept my distance from everyone somehow

In what happened between the castle and the pub

I forgot about the hell, one that broke me and haunted me until now


I don’t think about it, but I still remember the scare

The abuse, the manipulation, the hate and degrading

I didn’t lie when I said I no longer care

But when I lost myself, it brought back the scariest thing


So yeah, when I had to act all smiley and bubbly

In the middle of sharp eyes of the castle, the pub, and the hell

My anxiety spiked a little too much, a bit uncontrollably 

In a way still hoping I get it together so no one can tell


And so maybe, my brain found a way to be more tipsy than it should be

Just so my soul can run away, even when I’m stuck physically

The day ended with an ache on my head

And with no tasks nor responsibility ended

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